No King Size Please.

It is finally May 5th. 

Today, Don left on tour for 6 weeks.

I realized last week he'll be gone for most of May & June 2009.

I had a little cry thinking of all the things I'll be doing alone.

I dreaded the day to come (fear of a teary farewell on my part).

But now that it's here, it's not so, so bad.

I didn't 'lose it' with the final wave from the front porch. 

Or the next hour that I sat on the couch and watched a movie.

I had a fun night painting pottery with friends.

I have plans for every night of the rest of the week.

So many have already offered their companionship and time.

And yet...

When it finally comes to climbing under those covers all by your lonesome, reality sets in.

You are alone.

It's tough to explain.

Without wanting to sound like a jerk (uh-oh, probably too late!), you won't quite understand it until you're married to a dedicated musician. It's not quite the same as business travel. Most of the time, the travelling one: 

a) 'has' to go on business  

b)can't wait to get home 

c)it's a generally short time

With musicians though...it's all opposites! And while you (the one at home) are happy for them, and you know it is making a difference, you just wish you could go along. One day it will probably happen.  But right now, right here, they are there and you are here and it is a bit rough.

I heard a radio program last year talking to widows young and old. One of the most common things amongst them was to go out and buy a new bed...their old king and queen sizes left them feeling tiny and lost without the other person there. I can almost understand them. Almost.

So, one (so-far) tearless day in, I'm happy with my little double, albeit still lonely bed.